The "I Am" Decision

   There is a basic life decision that some people make early in life.  Others make it later and some never seem to make it at all.  That decision is the "I Am" decision.  Not "I am ...some label" but simply "I Am".  Then it follows from that "I will".  In sociology there is a concept known as the "Mirror Image Self".  That refers to the way the parents and others reflect back to the child the way they see him or her.  This is strongly based on the what the culture wants the child to become.  If the child is seen as a warrior a warrior is often what the child grows up to become.  If he is seen as a seeker of knowledge a life long scholar is often the result.  Genetic disposition often accompanies the expectation of the culture.  Strong and fit people make for better warriors.  People who learn well make for better scholars.  But psychologists and sociologists often argue about the importance of "nurture versus nature".  For a person to truly be worthy of "The Smart Hat" they must take their life decisions into their own hands.  They must choose which labels they want and when they want them.  It is wise to choose a label such as "I am a person who is able to learn and solve problems".  This might not be an easy label but it is very useful and practical.  After all anybody who can learn to walk and talk can learn many more things.  Walking and talking are actually complex tasks.  But the small child keeps at each one, trying new things, exploring options, storing the memory of successes, until at last the the task is mastered.  I am - I will - I can.  Of course the appreciation and encouragement of others spurs the child on as they learn.  But if there is not some inner drive it is not too likely the task will even be attempted, let alone mastered.  I once knew a man who was a master mimic and seemed to be obsessed with the way others saw him.  He had joined gangs as a teen because he thought it was the expected thing to do. He would take on the voice texture and behaviors of whoever he was around.  If he was around good workers, he was a good worker.  If he was around drinkers he drank.  He had some slogans that gave him some structure to his life but he was amazingly not self-directed.  In other words, he could be trusted about as far as he could be thrown. He had not made the "I Am" decision, he had not mastered self-control.  He is currently in prison where he is controlled by others. That works for him.  I doubt it would work for all.  The "I Am" decision is a wise and smart decision.
   I suppose I should mention ways to develop the "I Am" decision.  It is mostly a matter of being quiet and observing your perceptions and your judgments of these  perceptions.  I see,  I sense, I observe, I like, I want, etc.  I remember one or two, perhaps more, times in my life when I felt I was off track.  I spent some time each evening going over my day and judging my activities, whether they had been things I had done that I like or not, and whether I had achieved the results I wanted.  I had to go through some hard times to get back on track, but I managed it.  It is very smart to work towards the life you want for yourself.  There isn't necessarily any buttons to push or any magic bullets.  But developing skills you want and need is a satisfying way to live.  So put on Your Smart Hat and be who you want to be.
     

New Year's Resolution: To Realize You Are Smart Then Forget It

   Everyone is so much smarter than they realize.  To learn about how smart you actually are you must start with small discoveries.  Can you look at something, then close your eyes and remember what you saw?  That is memory use.  We use memory all the time and it is one of our smart tools.  Can you see gaps in things, where something is missing?  Another tool.  Can you arrange things in sequential order?  Can you arrange things so that they are backward?  Have you told anyone about a movie you have seen lately?  All ways to use your brain.
   Many people want others to see them as smart.  That is understandable. But if you doubt your own smartness it won't matter in the long run how others see you.  You can brag and show off  a lot to try to impress others but you will end up looking foolish.  Being smart is the ability to deal with your life in a satisfying way.  Once in a while it matters what others think.  We like to get good grades. We like to be seen as successful at work. But turning in homework that is neat goes a long way to get grades. Showing up on time to work impresses the boss. But school or work can be a very small part of a great big wonderful world. It is very smart to find ways to not let either work or school be a source of stress. Try a game of adventure and discovery.  That can be fun. Keep an adventure log.  If you don't like something, write it down in your adventure log as something you didn't like.  It is smart to discover things.  Make decisions about changes you can make in your likes or actions so your environment works better for you.  Intelligence is the ability to learn from your environment.  Learn and change.  Put on that smart hat and have a good year.

Do You Know All That Much?

There is insistent pressure on everybody to be smart.  Everybody also has the fear that they are not all that smart.  But I urge you to stop and examine all this.  New things are difficult.  That's just the way it is.  But consider all that you have actually learned by the time you can read well enough to read this post.  You have mastered speaking, eating with utensils, being potty trained, reading, relating to others, and managing your emotions, among other things.  Oh, yes.  You can probably dress yourself and buy your own candy.  You broke each of those things down into their smallest parts and practiced those small bits over and over.  You built on skills to get further skills and here you are, a functioning adult.  Another skill you used as you learned all the things I mentioned was that you didn't dilly dally around about learning these things.  You went for them with gusto.  So capitalize on your skill of being fearless, use your other skills of practice and breaking things down and get a little bit smarter.  You have already done great things.  Walking is a great skill.  Complex and new when you start out.  As is talking.  Math and foreign languages, writing poetry or driving a car are not actually as hard.  You are marvelous.  You can learn.  You can ask questions or get things demonstrated for you.  Your  smart hat is tailor made for you, it is just your size.  Put it on and celebrate how smart you are.