Do This Smart Thing

  One of the smartest, if not the smartest, thing to do is develop the ability to delay wish gratification.  You may come across a study called "the marshmallow study".  Small children were told they could eat a marshmallow right then, or wait and have two.  This was a study over time and the children who could wait turned out to usually be more successful in life.  Goals take time. Learning takes time.  When you are focused on reaching a goal the waiting is less painful.  So it is not just a matter of waiting but putting off instant wish gratification for a purpose.  You may have to invent or use all kinds of distraction strategies. Some may be better than others.  If you have a grasshopper mindset you will totally forget about the wish and the goal as well and get nowhere.  But if you endow the steps to waiting and working for a goal with a certain charge, with a sense of purpose, you will find that the time passes quickly.  That is probably why Christmas comes so quickly for parents and so slowly for children.  The children are just waiting for the presents.  The parents are purposefully trying to make the holiday happy for the children.
  So I suggest you look at the way you are living your life.  Are you living a "smart life"?  To live a smart life you have to do smart things.  Are you keeping in touch with people you care for?  That takes a bit of trouble.  Are you setting and reaching goals?  That also takes a bit of delay of instant wish gratification.  Put on your smart hat and take hold of your life.  It is your life.  Live it smartly.

The "I Am" Decision

   There is a basic life decision that some people make early in life.  Others make it later and some never seem to make it at all.  That decision is the "I Am" decision.  Not "I am ...some label" but simply "I Am".  Then it follows from that "I will".  In sociology there is a concept known as the "Mirror Image Self".  That refers to the way the parents and others reflect back to the child the way they see him or her.  This is strongly based on the what the culture wants the child to become.  If the child is seen as a warrior a warrior is often what the child grows up to become.  If he is seen as a seeker of knowledge a life long scholar is often the result.  Genetic disposition often accompanies the expectation of the culture.  Strong and fit people make for better warriors.  People who learn well make for better scholars.  But psychologists and sociologists often argue about the importance of "nurture versus nature".  For a person to truly be worthy of "The Smart Hat" they must take their life decisions into their own hands.  They must choose which labels they want and when they want them.  It is wise to choose a label such as "I am a person who is able to learn and solve problems".  This might not be an easy label but it is very useful and practical.  After all anybody who can learn to walk and talk can learn many more things.  Walking and talking are actually complex tasks.  But the small child keeps at each one, trying new things, exploring options, storing the memory of successes, until at last the the task is mastered.  I am - I will - I can.  Of course the appreciation and encouragement of others spurs the child on as they learn.  But if there is not some inner drive it is not too likely the task will even be attempted, let alone mastered.  I once knew a man who was a master mimic and seemed to be obsessed with the way others saw him.  He had joined gangs as a teen because he thought it was the expected thing to do. He would take on the voice texture and behaviors of whoever he was around.  If he was around good workers, he was a good worker.  If he was around drinkers he drank.  He had some slogans that gave him some structure to his life but he was amazingly not self-directed.  In other words, he could be trusted about as far as he could be thrown. He had not made the "I Am" decision, he had not mastered self-control.  He is currently in prison where he is controlled by others. That works for him.  I doubt it would work for all.  The "I Am" decision is a wise and smart decision.
   I suppose I should mention ways to develop the "I Am" decision.  It is mostly a matter of being quiet and observing your perceptions and your judgments of these  perceptions.  I see,  I sense, I observe, I like, I want, etc.  I remember one or two, perhaps more, times in my life when I felt I was off track.  I spent some time each evening going over my day and judging my activities, whether they had been things I had done that I like or not, and whether I had achieved the results I wanted.  I had to go through some hard times to get back on track, but I managed it.  It is very smart to work towards the life you want for yourself.  There isn't necessarily any buttons to push or any magic bullets.  But developing skills you want and need is a satisfying way to live.  So put on Your Smart Hat and be who you want to be.
     

It's Time To Be Smart

I write this blog to spread the word that people are smarter than they realize.  A bit of education and a few clear thinking skills can do wonders.  But the two biggest blocks to being your true smart self are poor time use and poor self image.  Now I have to digress here a bit. It might be true, but I don't like it to be said, truly stupid people are too stupid to know they are stupid.  I think people try things and when they don't work out they are labeled stupid things.  Lack of awareness can be a protective thing.  Emotions play a tremendous role in all we do.  Emotions play a role far greater than most people realize.  So one of the first time management rules I would offer is: Take the time to be aware of your actions. Judge whether they got you what you wanted.  If they did, pat yourself on the back.  If those actions didn't work, pat your self on the back for putting out effort.
Rule #2 Set goals.  This is one of those big little things.  On nights I don't sleep well my main goal the next day if to find time for naps.  I might say I have other goals but my drive is towards a nap.
So there you have rule #3 Take some time, every day, to think about your drives, your goals, what you want, how you want to live, and what influences you.  It can help a lot to do this with pen and paper in the form of a conversation between your "I" and "Me" selves.
I want to add one more rule for "Taking time to show that your are smart." Rule #4 Take a wee bit of time, every day, to notice that you are actually taking actions towards maintaining and improving the life you are creating. Just by being aware of an idea that you like, your inner self will direct you towards making it real.  So let me recap: #1 Be aware of the role of emotions in your life. Negative ones are just a signal of a need for change. Pat yourself on the back for recognition and action. #2 Set goals.  Start small.  Keep at it. #3 Take self awareness time. #4 Take time to note your progress.  It might be your own little secret right now, but you are smart enough to have a better life and you can do it.  Put on your smart hat and go for it.

Refuse to Cower

How the world sees you is, to some extent, up to you.  You can learn to influence this.  Of course, your basic nature, your inner integrity, cannot be hidden.  But your light will shine forth better if you help it.  One of the things a smart hat wearer does is refuse to be a sniveling coward.  I am not advocating fool hardy and bombastic behavior.  It is wise to be discrete.  But if you cower, your self image will shrivel.  I think it is a good idea right now to discuss what cowering is.  Fear is natural and can be helpful.  We can take a warning from our fear and prepare to face danger.  But to cower is to admit and exaggerate our fear without allowing our mind to think of ways to face and conquer that fear.  Here is a good scenario: A test is presented. A WOW reaction is felt.  You admit the test seems like an overwhelming obstacle.  Then your wise self kicks in.  You take on the test as a challenge.  Even one correct answer is a win.  Being calm will help you dredge up any knowledge or strategies you have.  So you calm yourself. You do not cower.  Most likely you will score higher than you expected.  This simple piece of paper will not bring you to your knees.  You are wearing your smart hat.  You are smarter than you think.  

Baby Your Brain

It is supremely smart to create an environment for your brain to work well.  This means to avoid toxic substances and toxic behaviors.  You might even go so far as to have a sort of "baby talk" time with your brain.  That might sound, at first, ridiculous.  But the higher level of thinking that you want to practice is not reactive.  When the smart, or reasoning part of your brain is in charge you make better decisions and create a much better life. In order for this to take place you must sort out the impulses and reactions that come from the lower parts of your brain, such as the amygdala or reptilian brain. Conscious inner dialogue is essential to a smart life. If your feelings, such as anxiety, are coming at you full force it may be hard to be clear headed.  A little bit of loving self talk, even baby talk, may work wonders in the privacy of your inner dialogue.  Right now Donald Trump has a lot of followers in his bid to become the Republican candidate for President of the United States.  Mr. Trump is making a lot of stupid, vicious, arrogant and even silly statements that these followers are taking in as gospel.  A journalist used a lot of quotes from the infamous Adolf Hitler and attributed them to Donald Trump.  These Trump supporters said they approved of the statements no matter what just because they were said to come from Trump.  These fearful, poor at reasoning people would not be labelled smart.  But perhaps some of them may go to a quiet place and think about the conversation they had with this journalist.  They may be angry at first and dig in deeper with their reactive statements.  But some of them may engage in a bit a sweet talk with themselves.  The vulnerable inner self that we all have is a gentle two year old.  We need to care for them self.  It is the smart thing to do.  So put on your smart hat and baby your brain.  Grow up and take care of yourself and your brain.  You are smarter than you know.

It's Not How Smart You Are, But How You Are Smart

 There is a stereotype about what a smart person is like.  Mostly it is based on the ability to memorize certain facts and feed them back to authority figures.  I know a man who didn't stay in school past grade school but later got into college.  His teachers labelled him as dumb but I was amazed at the way he could identify so many different kinds of airplanes, among other bits of information he had at his fingertips.  Schools need to admit that different people learn in different ways and are drawn to learn different things.  All too often students are expected to only learn by sitting on a hard chair and listening to endless words coming out of a teachers mouth.  Memorization is not the end all and be all of education.  I actually asked one of my college professors once a question about his knowledge of History.  He told me that he wasn't sure he understood all that he had lectured on that day.  His lecture was mainly a memorization of what his professor had said when he had been a student in college.  Words passed down but not understood.  Rebel against this nonsense stereotype today.  Accept that you are smart.  Now go away from the label.  Start to explore the ways in which you are smart.  How do you learn?  Good spellers often learn by spelling out the word in a rhythm. Some people like to doodle and diagram and draw pictures to grasp the ideas they are learning.  Some chant.  Some listen.  Some Read.  Some write things out.  Some speak the facts.  Some need to talk new facts over with someone before they get into their brain.  Put on you 'Smart Hat' and explore the ways in which you are smart.

Be Smart Like a Cat

  When it is time to learn something new you have to overcome a few things.  There is the inertia of the way things have been going along the same, without this new knowledge.  Then there is the uncertainty about whether it is of value or worth the trouble.We want variety but we just don't know about this new stuff.  Here is where watching the way a kitten approaches a new box to play with can pay off.  There will be a sneak approach.  Then a jump back.  Maybe a sideways sidle will take place.  Then a paw might reach out and bat at the box.  Maybe the kitten will try to bite the box.  There is not any prolonged contact with the box right away.  It is explored from all sides and in many ways.  Only when the kitten feels comfortable with that box will it become a place to crawl into and relax or groom itself.
   You can do the same thing.  Math, for instance, is simply counting.  But it can be counting in very complex ways.  Jump at it.  Play around with the concepts.  Jump back.  Go to a familiar place.  Find ways to jump at it from above.  Little bites and shoves.  Don't turn your back on it.  There is a reason people decided to count things.  When these reasons make sense to you there will be an "aha" moment.  Approach life like a cat and your Smart Hat will stand up proud and tall.

New Year's Resolution: To Realize You Are Smart Then Forget It

   Everyone is so much smarter than they realize.  To learn about how smart you actually are you must start with small discoveries.  Can you look at something, then close your eyes and remember what you saw?  That is memory use.  We use memory all the time and it is one of our smart tools.  Can you see gaps in things, where something is missing?  Another tool.  Can you arrange things in sequential order?  Can you arrange things so that they are backward?  Have you told anyone about a movie you have seen lately?  All ways to use your brain.
   Many people want others to see them as smart.  That is understandable. But if you doubt your own smartness it won't matter in the long run how others see you.  You can brag and show off  a lot to try to impress others but you will end up looking foolish.  Being smart is the ability to deal with your life in a satisfying way.  Once in a while it matters what others think.  We like to get good grades. We like to be seen as successful at work. But turning in homework that is neat goes a long way to get grades. Showing up on time to work impresses the boss. But school or work can be a very small part of a great big wonderful world. It is very smart to find ways to not let either work or school be a source of stress. Try a game of adventure and discovery.  That can be fun. Keep an adventure log.  If you don't like something, write it down in your adventure log as something you didn't like.  It is smart to discover things.  Make decisions about changes you can make in your likes or actions so your environment works better for you.  Intelligence is the ability to learn from your environment.  Learn and change.  Put on that smart hat and have a good year.

Ah, That is the Question.

   It is not such a good thing for adults to scold children for asking questions all the time.  Even questions that are asked with the purpose of annoying should be answered.  Not always with a direct answer, mind you.  Sometimes the best answer is an offer to help the child discover an answer.  But the power of questions should be acknowledged.  Questions are the mind getting out of the mire, or of too much comfort, or a loop.  They are a movement in a new direction.  Even 'awfullizing' questions such as the whine "Why does everybody always pick on me?" can actually point the way forward.  That question will point the way if it is listened to and answered by the questioner.  The key words being "everybody" and "always".  The astute questioner will see the flaw in the question and then ask a better question.
   Asking a good question is a skill which 'wearing the Smart Hat' will help you develop. You will also learn to recognize flawed questions.  Asking a flawed question that sounds good is a common propaganda tool. We talk about Hitler and Nazi Germany as a time of getting people to believe the Big Lie.  That kind of thing still goes on. But you can learn to see the lie in the question as you learn to use the tool of asking good questions.  Question often.  Notice feelings of discomfort, or worse.  Ask what message these feelings are sending.  Ask what change is needed.  Ask what ideas occur.  Ask what impact or problem these ideas raise.  Ask if these problems matter or can be overcome. Ask if you should act, delegate, delay or discard.  Asking questions is a powerful way to develop your intelligence.  So put on your Smart Hat and ask away.

I Am, I Will

  One of the most quoted sayings from the great philosophers is the one by Emmanuel Kant, "I think, therefore I am."  He didn't give himself any labels.  He just affirmed the bedrock fact of his existence.  As I have observed people over the years I have come to believe that a person can fail to make that basic "I am." decision.  A person can fail to know that the center of their life, their existence, is in themselves, and not dependent on the labels given by others.  Those labels can be powerful.  They can be empowering or toxic.  But they can be received selectively.  If you choose to think of yourself as smart you will find yourself acting in ways that will cause others to think of you as smart.  If you choose to think of yourself as kind you will do kind things without having to worry about it.  Leave certain labels behind and take up the ones that are good for you.  Make the "I am." decision and be comfortable with yourself. Instead of saying "I am a dummy" you will say, "This is something I don't know, but I have the power to find out what I need to know.  I am smart enough to conquer this, to ask questions, to experiment, to learn.  I will do this."  When you have made the "I ma." decision you do not fear mistakes or failure the way others do.  They are simply indications of what doesn't work and give you a chance to try something else.  So put on Your Smart Hat, make the I Am decision and take on the world.

Marshmallows and Pretzels and Other Good Things

  In the 1960s hundreds of four year olds were the subject of several studies about their ability to delay gratification.  The best known one became known as the Marshmallow experiment.  In that one the children were told they could have one marshmallow, but if they could keep from eating it for 15 minutes they could have two.  Some children did manage to hold out.  They found various ways to distract themselves, or control their desire.  Some turned around so they couldn't see the marshmallow.  Others covered their eyes.  Some pretended the marshmallow was something else, like a cloud or a fake marshmallow.  Some became busy kicking at the legs of the table where they were sitting.  The successful children continued to be successful in many other ways.  The results were written about in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of  the United States of America in 2011.  For example these "high delayers" averaged a score of 210 points higher on the SAT tests. These kids at four years old were already figuring out how to use the executive function, or prefrontal cortex, part of their brain to get them what they wanted.  At times it is important to be emotional.  At times it is important to use will power.  Your Smart Hat can help you decide which is which.  These studies continued for forty years and the collaborators were at different universities, like Duke and Cornell.  One of the things they found was that some children were not as able at first to wait and earn the second marshmallow, but were later able to develop more willpower.  Willpower is a big key to developing and expressing your brain power.  So put on Your Smart Hat and shine.

Smile in the Mirror

The Smart Hat helps you make choices about many things including your self image.  So far in your life you have been subjected to the reactions and opinions of others in forming your self image.  This has even been studied widely.  In fact, the American Sociologist Charles Horton Cooley (1864-1929)
referred to this as ' the looking glass self '.  However, your Smart Hat can help you reject the mistakes of others. If others have given you a self-image of not so smart that is a mistaken image.  When you look in the mirror you can smile.  You can say, "I have discovered that I am smart in many ways."  Imagine looking in a mirror and smiling.  Then see yourself saying to yourself, "I am pretty smart.  I learned to smile didn't I?"  When people are smiling at each other there is no thought of labels or rankings.  There is just here and now communication.  Do that for yourself.  Smile in the mirror and be happy.  Then if there is something you need to learn it will be easier.  The happier you are the easier it is to learn.  So put on your Smart Hat and smile and laugh all the way to the top of your class.

Do You Know All That Much?

There is insistent pressure on everybody to be smart.  Everybody also has the fear that they are not all that smart.  But I urge you to stop and examine all this.  New things are difficult.  That's just the way it is.  But consider all that you have actually learned by the time you can read well enough to read this post.  You have mastered speaking, eating with utensils, being potty trained, reading, relating to others, and managing your emotions, among other things.  Oh, yes.  You can probably dress yourself and buy your own candy.  You broke each of those things down into their smallest parts and practiced those small bits over and over.  You built on skills to get further skills and here you are, a functioning adult.  Another skill you used as you learned all the things I mentioned was that you didn't dilly dally around about learning these things.  You went for them with gusto.  So capitalize on your skill of being fearless, use your other skills of practice and breaking things down and get a little bit smarter.  You have already done great things.  Walking is a great skill.  Complex and new when you start out.  As is talking.  Math and foreign languages, writing poetry or driving a car are not actually as hard.  You are marvelous.  You can learn.  You can ask questions or get things demonstrated for you.  Your  smart hat is tailor made for you, it is just your size.  Put it on and celebrate how smart you are.

If You Think You Are Smart, You Are

Who decides if you are smart or not?  It has to be you in the long run.  The basic way to check up on your "smarts" is to ask yourself how something worked out.  If you approve of what you want and you are getting what you want then everything is fine.  If you didn't succeed then be smart enough to learn from your efforts and modify your 'try'.  You are the judge.  Watch out for other people's judgments.  Opinions of others do affect how you fit in.  Sometimes that may matter.  But your own self image must be basic.  Intelligence is the ability to learn from your environment.  Sometimes that means changing your environment.  I've dropped out of a few toxic environments and am proud of myself for doing so.  This is my first post of "Your Smart Hat" and I hope you will come with me and have some fun exploring: How Your Are Smart, Ways To Show What Smart Is, How to Watch Out For Control Attempts and more.  Try on you Smart Hat and see how it fits.