The "I Am" Decision

   There is a basic life decision that some people make early in life.  Others make it later and some never seem to make it at all.  That decision is the "I Am" decision.  Not "I am ...some label" but simply "I Am".  Then it follows from that "I will".  In sociology there is a concept known as the "Mirror Image Self".  That refers to the way the parents and others reflect back to the child the way they see him or her.  This is strongly based on the what the culture wants the child to become.  If the child is seen as a warrior a warrior is often what the child grows up to become.  If he is seen as a seeker of knowledge a life long scholar is often the result.  Genetic disposition often accompanies the expectation of the culture.  Strong and fit people make for better warriors.  People who learn well make for better scholars.  But psychologists and sociologists often argue about the importance of "nurture versus nature".  For a person to truly be worthy of "The Smart Hat" they must take their life decisions into their own hands.  They must choose which labels they want and when they want them.  It is wise to choose a label such as "I am a person who is able to learn and solve problems".  This might not be an easy label but it is very useful and practical.  After all anybody who can learn to walk and talk can learn many more things.  Walking and talking are actually complex tasks.  But the small child keeps at each one, trying new things, exploring options, storing the memory of successes, until at last the the task is mastered.  I am - I will - I can.  Of course the appreciation and encouragement of others spurs the child on as they learn.  But if there is not some inner drive it is not too likely the task will even be attempted, let alone mastered.  I once knew a man who was a master mimic and seemed to be obsessed with the way others saw him.  He had joined gangs as a teen because he thought it was the expected thing to do. He would take on the voice texture and behaviors of whoever he was around.  If he was around good workers, he was a good worker.  If he was around drinkers he drank.  He had some slogans that gave him some structure to his life but he was amazingly not self-directed.  In other words, he could be trusted about as far as he could be thrown. He had not made the "I Am" decision, he had not mastered self-control.  He is currently in prison where he is controlled by others. That works for him.  I doubt it would work for all.  The "I Am" decision is a wise and smart decision.
   I suppose I should mention ways to develop the "I Am" decision.  It is mostly a matter of being quiet and observing your perceptions and your judgments of these  perceptions.  I see,  I sense, I observe, I like, I want, etc.  I remember one or two, perhaps more, times in my life when I felt I was off track.  I spent some time each evening going over my day and judging my activities, whether they had been things I had done that I like or not, and whether I had achieved the results I wanted.  I had to go through some hard times to get back on track, but I managed it.  It is very smart to work towards the life you want for yourself.  There isn't necessarily any buttons to push or any magic bullets.  But developing skills you want and need is a satisfying way to live.  So put on Your Smart Hat and be who you want to be.